Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Fear of the Unknown

So what do you do when you have 6 long hours in front of a computer with nothing to do? Pour out your worries into cyber-space for all to criticize. Well, as the Tidwell Family faces big changes on the horizon, I worry about what is to come. The not knowing is something that I don't handle very well.

December 14 will mark the end of my career as an undergrad student. I will be the new owner of a piece of paper that has costs more money that I care to think about. I gave up even more money per year to go to school because my job at Dupont would allow me to get an education. And now that the education has been obtained, the fear of whether I can pay for this education is starting to set in.

So let me recap. I gave up roughly $65,000 per year worth of income from a manual labor job. It took me 4 1/2 years to finish the degree. Minus the income I have made, we have an oppurtunity cost of $200,000. Then we look at the added expense of getting the degree and still living day to day. I probably should see how much student loan debt we are in, but it is up there. My education, from an economic accounting perspective, has cost more than a quarter of a million dollars! Now that I have an education, the job market is gone to crap and I'm going to be lucky to land a job making $35,000 a year. Man that hurts to say out loud.
I wish I didn't focus on numbers so much. That is why I'm so grateful for my loving bride. She always helps me focus on what is important. If I would have stayed at the manual labor job, I would have never met her, would not be in the beautiful state of Arkansas, have two wonderful kids and an education that has bettered my life more than what money can make up for.

As I close this November, I want to say that I am very grateful for the chance to have obtained an education. I'm grateful for my eternal companion that has put up with my stressed out brain and lack of interaction in the three and a half years we have been married. I'm so grateful for the support of our family and friends that have made this journey possible. Last but not least, I want to give thanks to my Father in Heaven for watching out for our little family. We have had a great struggle, but have never wanted for anything. He has always given us in our time of need. As I focus on this next chapter of our life and look at the unknown before me, I pray that I will not fear but put my faith in God and feel for his direction through the inspiration of the Holy Ghost.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

New Adventures

Wow, I believe that is really all I can say about today! :)

Life has proven to be rather interesting with two little ones at home, it is busy, fun, exciting, trying, frustrating, surprising, interesting, eventful, and so much more.  I am going to take a moment and share with you how my day went today, this hasn't been a typical day and I can only pray that it doesn't become the "norm".

The morning started off pretty normal, children woke up between 6 and 7 a.m. and I had no desire to get out of bed so their amazing Daddy came to the rescue while I convinced myself that it was time to get up and get going for the day.  Diapers were changed and breakfast got started.  Jillian of course  cannot wait for breakfast to be cooked so she has a banana and her milk to help hold her over and Wyatt is pretty chill at this point because he just had a bottle not too long ago (I honestly can't remember the time because too much has happened since this morning and now).

We leave the house around 10:00 a.m. to go run some errands, nothing special.  We arrive back home at noon and Jillian is passed out in her car seat and Wyatt is starting to wake up because he is ready to eat again.  I managed to get Jillian inside and in bed without waking her up (she was purely exhausted), and Wyatt gets his lunch fix from Daddy.  I start making lunch for Garon so he can eat before he heads out the door for work.

Fast forward time to about 1:15 p.m., this is when my day starts getting a little interesting.  Garon leaves the house to go to work for the evening.  Both kids are awake and Jillian is yelling bye in a happy voice but then watches Daddy leave and starts screaming (not unusual for her, don't worry it doesn't last long at all).  She comes back to the living room and starts vigorously loving on her little brother.  She absolutely adores him, lots of hugs, kisses, hand shakes, arm pulls, etc.  It has come to the point that I have to grow those eyes in the back of my head that all moms are supposed to have because our little angel will try to pick her brother up and she has actually succeeded in this task.  So we play pass the baby back and forth for a little bit, read a book, and play on the floor.

At about 2:30 p.m. I decided I should probably start dinner so I can have time to cook it and get everything together in time to make it to Garon by 4:30.  Wyatt is asleep in his bed and Jillian is following me around wanting more attention.  She has been teething a lot lately and I was trying to get things done so I gave her a popsicle, placed her in her chair and let her go to town.  This worked great, she ate the whole thing and didn't even make a huge mess.  2:45 Wyatt wakes up and is not a happy camper, I am at a point where I can't really stop but I do anyway.  I get Jillian wiped down, get Wyatt out of bed and put him in the bouncy chair in the kitchen so he can see what is going on.  Jillian is excited her brother is awake again so the loving has started over.  I am watching her out of the corner of my eye to make sure she doesn't tackle the poor little guy and occasionally I could be heard saying "be gentle" or "softly" .  She got really quiet and he wasn't making much noise so I looked over to see that Jillian had gone to his room, pulled a brand new package of refill wipes into the kitchen and had half of Wyatt's diaper off.  YES, MY ONE YEAR OLD WAS TRYING TO CHANGE HER BROTHER'S DIAPER!!!  Quickly, I had to stop what I was doing, go get a diaper and get him settled back in, she just wanted to help...when he started crying she found his passy and brought it into him.  So while I am getting Wyatt "fixed up", she walks over to the table and pulls a chair up to the refrigerator and proceeds to climb onto the chair in hopes of reaching the m&m's that are on top of the refrigerator (thank heavens she can't reach them, YET!).  So, Wyatt is now clean but still screaming because it is now a little after 3:00 and he thinks he is starving and Jillian is back in her chair with 5 m&m's, you may be surprised at the mess 5 little m&m's can make.

Jillian decides she is done with the m&m's because she has seen me make a bottle and knows I am about to go feed brother (which in turn means more love time for her).  I proceed to wipe her down one more time, pick up Wyatt, mix the bottle, and head to the living room.  Curious George is on PBS and we take a little breather and watch this while Wyatt eats, poops, eats and little more, and poops a lot more.  Jillian decided she needed to do a little system cleansing also so I get both of them cleaned up, get Wyatt to burp (this is no small task), and start getting dinner together because it is now 3:50ish. I get the dinner in the car, get shoes on Jillian and Wyatt is finally loaded in the car seat.  We are ready to go see Daddy for dinner.

Fast forward again to about 5:45.  Jillian is now officially exhausted but I am not letting her go to sleep because I don't want to be up until midnight.  This action results in lots of tantrums, fits, episodes, whatever you would like to call them.  Wyatt is in and out of sleep but hanging out happily in his crib.  6:00 gets here and guess what time it is again, it is time to make a bottle and feed the little man, Jillian is giving her loves but not so many this time because she is tired and she thinks she should get all of the attention right now.  I am feeding Wyatt and she decides to climb up on my lap, she helped burp him and both kiddos were cuddled on me as I rocked them.  The night from this point starts to go pretty smooth.  Wyatt is in bed by about 7, a little early so it may be a rough night but we shall see, and Jillian now has me all to herself.  She is happy being held and rocked but she started to get tired so she got down and found random things to get into, one of the favorites is the drawer on the entertainment center with all her diapers.  At about 7:45 the tantrums started back up so I said, "let's go lay down and get ready for bed".

Without a fight we went in her room, laid on her bed, said prayers, and sang some songs.  I had a very motherly moment this evening as I was putting my precious, wild, crazy, loving little girl to bed.  I looked at her and noticed how grown up she was becoming, she is getting so big but is still so little at the same time.  We sang an assortment of songs but the one that made me tear up tonight was "You Are My Sunshine".  This little girl lights up my life everyday.  She has stolen my heart  and I hope she never gives it back.  She truly is my sunshine and she brings so much joy to my life.  Even when I have trying days or moments she helps me laugh instead of scream.  Children really do bring out the best in us.  We did in fact have many heart to heart moments today but I suppose that just comes with the territory.  I feel so blessed to have these two amazing children, to have a loving and supportive husband, to have family I can call on when I just need an encouraging word or a moment of motivation.  I am living my dream, I am doing what I have always wanted.  My life at this moment is not always easy but I am loving every minute of it.  The laundry may get backed up, the dishes may have to wait, my floor may not always be perfectly vacuumed but I have two little angels named Jillian and Wyatt who make my home the welcoming place that it is.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Wyatt Eugene Tidwell

I am a little late in doing this post but the Tidwell Family has a new addition! :)
Friday, October 28, 2011 proved to be a very productive day.  This particular morning we went out running errands and what not all while I was having lots of pressure every time I took a step, stood up, or sat down.  I am going to back track a little bit back to Tuesday the 25th; I went to labor and deliver this night because I had been having contractions all night Monday and all day Tuesday.  We went in around 9:00 or so and turns out the contractions were 3 minutes apart.  I thought this was great news except my cervix wasn't exactly cooperating.  I entered the hospital dilated to a 2 and left around 1:30 a.m. with progressing only to a 3.  Needless to say they gave me a shot of morphine and sent me on my way.

Now, back to Friday...I was having lots of pressure and a few contractions here and there but nothing major. We decided to go into the hospital around 3:00 p.m. even though I wasn't in "pain".  I get settled in and the nurse comes in to check me and see what was going on, I was dilated to a 5! At this point we knew today was the day.

We move from an observation room to a labor room, not much is going on.  I am all hooked up to monitors, Garon is watching t.v. and we are just hanging out.  
 In these two pictures we are just chilling in the room.  I am having inconsistent contractions and things are pretty easy.  We kept at this pace until about 7:00 p.m. when the doctor came in to break my water and the pitocin  really got going.  
 Garon took a little nap before everything got a little crazy.  I must say that he did deserve it!
 At 9:37 p.m. Wyatt Eugene Tidwell entered this world.  
Height: 20 inches
Weight: 6 lbs 14 oz

 Jillian came to visit and she absolutely adores her little brother.  
Sorry for the blurry picture, she kept moving and trying to get the camera so we will have to work on some more.

All in all, I must say it was a pretty easy labor and delivery.  Having a 6 lbs baby is so much easier than a 9 pounder.  We are so excited to have little Wyatt here in our home and a part of our family.  

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Maternity Pictures

At 36 weeks pregnant we decided it was time to take some family/maternity pictures.  Jillian is 15 months old, I am 9 months pregnant (basically), Garon 26 and myself 25.  

It was crazy to try and wrap my brain around the idea that I was about to have two children, not just one child.  We had a ton of fun taking the pictures and as if you couldn't tell through the pictures the weather was absolutely amazing this particular day.

Here are just a few of the great shots we got, hope you enjoy! 

 Funny thing about this picture, she cannot stand it when Garon and I hold hands.