Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Fear of the Unknown

So what do you do when you have 6 long hours in front of a computer with nothing to do? Pour out your worries into cyber-space for all to criticize. Well, as the Tidwell Family faces big changes on the horizon, I worry about what is to come. The not knowing is something that I don't handle very well.

December 14 will mark the end of my career as an undergrad student. I will be the new owner of a piece of paper that has costs more money that I care to think about. I gave up even more money per year to go to school because my job at Dupont would allow me to get an education. And now that the education has been obtained, the fear of whether I can pay for this education is starting to set in.

So let me recap. I gave up roughly $65,000 per year worth of income from a manual labor job. It took me 4 1/2 years to finish the degree. Minus the income I have made, we have an oppurtunity cost of $200,000. Then we look at the added expense of getting the degree and still living day to day. I probably should see how much student loan debt we are in, but it is up there. My education, from an economic accounting perspective, has cost more than a quarter of a million dollars! Now that I have an education, the job market is gone to crap and I'm going to be lucky to land a job making $35,000 a year. Man that hurts to say out loud.
I wish I didn't focus on numbers so much. That is why I'm so grateful for my loving bride. She always helps me focus on what is important. If I would have stayed at the manual labor job, I would have never met her, would not be in the beautiful state of Arkansas, have two wonderful kids and an education that has bettered my life more than what money can make up for.

As I close this November, I want to say that I am very grateful for the chance to have obtained an education. I'm grateful for my eternal companion that has put up with my stressed out brain and lack of interaction in the three and a half years we have been married. I'm so grateful for the support of our family and friends that have made this journey possible. Last but not least, I want to give thanks to my Father in Heaven for watching out for our little family. We have had a great struggle, but have never wanted for anything. He has always given us in our time of need. As I focus on this next chapter of our life and look at the unknown before me, I pray that I will not fear but put my faith in God and feel for his direction through the inspiration of the Holy Ghost.

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